Anna & Sophia

So happy that 2009 is over.  I definitely need a new start.  Hopefully my 2010 would be better than 2009.  As crazy as this year has been.  I really would like to thank all my great friends and family members for being there for me.  I wouldn’t know what to do without them.

Sophia is turning 3 in February.  Another year older.  3 years down 15 more years to go.  Ha Ha!!  I know, i know.  When the time actually comes.  I would be in tears and wouldn’t want her to leave.

Wish everyone a great new year !! Let the count down begin, and let the new year roll.

I been done with my course for almost a month now.  I think i have rested enough and need to wake up and smell the roses.  Resume time !!! Been trying to get all the information ready to write a resume.  Something is just not clicking.  I don’t even remember the last time i wrote one.  I have to admit.  It’s been ages.   Where should i begin? What should i write?  O gosh…i could feel my brain going to all different direction right now.

I must get this done though.  This can not be delay no longer.  This should be on one of my new year resolution list.  Most likely to be on my top 5.  Wake up Anna !!! *Hit myself in the head*

Within an hour or two of arriving home.  This is how the place looks like after Sophia digged out all her toys.  What a damage a little girl can cost.  You really have to ask yourself.  What’s the point of cleaning the house again when you know is going to be messy again within minutes.  The keep the place clean.  You would actually have to stand right behind Sophia and pick up everything she drops.

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The augment between me and papa bear had for these couple of months.  Would equal up to 3-4 years of augment for normal couple.  It is so strange that everytime i argue with him.  I get really sleepy.  Weird but true.  We truly care about each other.  But i have to admit, there are issuesssssss we have to work on if we want to be together.  Hey, marriage is not easy.  Like i said i previously.  I’m tired.  Either i’m going to jump off a roof or two or go crazy.  I really don’t see a good ending to this if we both keep it up.   I’m going to see if we can work it out.  Slowly, hopefully peacefully.  Taking everything one breath at a time.  I can’t even handle one step at a time anymore.    Is too intense for me as of right now.  My body could only take so much stress.

We would really need to sit down and talk about everything.  One topic at a time.  Before doing all that.  I just want to enjoy the holiday and the coming of the new year.  Just relax.  At least if is still doesn’t work out.  I have nothing to say and that i have tried my very best of my ability.  Just cross fingers and pray for the best. 

I hope everyone had a great Christmas.  For me i had a great Christmas.  Nothing is better than spending time with family members.  This year is no different.  Not to mention Sophia is old enough to enjoy a little bit of the Christmas spirit.  She understand that Santa Clause make the sound Ho! Ho! Ho!.  And Christmas tree.  She received loads of Christmas presents from papa bear, me,my aunt and let’s not forget grandma.   I wonder if she understand why she’s getting presents.  But i’m sure she’ll understand it by next year.

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This year is truly not my year.  Everything went from down hill to rock bottom.  There are  no words to describe what i went through this year.  Of course i understand that everyone go through their bad time in some point.  But i feel like everything is hitting me all at once.  I feel strengthless.  I feel like i no longer have the energy to fight for this battle.  My woe has not even heal yet, another woe comes along.

I once believe that.  When you do good.  Good things will happen to you.  Or treat other people like how you would like to be treated.  But i’m starting to realize the return might not always be the same.  I am starting to question myself about my beliefs.  Because i don’t feel like good things happen to good people.  Ever heard ” good people finish last” ?  I don’t think i’m a saint.  But i do try to be good.  Am i not doing enough?!

Am i a bad person for not wanting to go back to a place where i no longer feel happy.  A place where i feel trap and suffocated.  To a person i gave up hope for.  Like the word “promise”  no longer have any meaning to me.  Like a bird singing but don’t know what it really means.  I see him but only fear and sadness comes out of me.

I am tired……just tired.  Wish i could just completely shut down and . . .

to be continue……….

It was snowing the other day.  So i took a picture of it before it turns into gray slushy.  I didn’t think Sophia need snow boots until i realize that if i don’t get her one.  I would have to carry her for the rest of the winter.  Mama bear’s back can’t handle that.

She got her gear ready.  Snow boots. Check! Hello Kitty Umbrella. Check!

Without thinking twice.  I went to Target and gotten her a pair of hot pink snow boots.  She loved it so much that she actually wears it at home. I kept telling her to take it off.  She’ll take it off for couple of minutes and then goes back and put it on again.

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I don’t have much Christmas shopping to do.  But i do enjoy the whole Christmas spirit.   Where people are throwing their money at the cashier.  Grabbing whatever they could find.  I really do think that Christmas was an excuse for more shopping.  I love shopping, don’t get me wrong.  I just don’t feel like waiting a longggg line to try on things and another longgggg line to pay for things.  That is why i don’t have much shopping to do during the holiday.  Either i do it online or like Sophia’s case.  Already gotten her Christmas present way before  hand.  I know in another couple of years.  She should wait till Christmas eve to open her present.  But for now.  Is ok.

You know how Macy’s are open 24 hours for these couple of days.  I was just wondering who would go shopping early and i mean really early in the morning.  The sun is not even out yet.  But i guess there’s people like me who can’t sleep and just want to walk around.  Or want the best customer service because there’s hardly anybody else there.  Wouldn’t it be great if there are malls that open 24 hours a day.  People who are busy in the day time could get some shopping done at night.  I know it might sound silly to some of you.  But i think is a good idea.  Is like those 24 hours gym.  There are actually people who goes to gym in the middle of the night or early in the morning.

Since papa bear knows how much Sophia loves taking pictures.  Papa bear got Sophia her own personal camera.  Well is more like…..so she won’t bother with mine.  Which equal to…..my camera would likely last longer.  Not that she is not careful with it.  But you know how kids are.  Oops!! And there goes your camera or phone.  You can’t blame the little one, you could only blame yourself as a parent for not being careful with your own item.

Sophia was so excited about her camera.  She was taking pictures of everyone and everything.  She was making funny faces so i would take pictures of her.  She would laugh at herself.  It was so funny how she tries so hard to make these face expression.

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Alright…i ordered some stuff in Ikea which had to be deliver to my house because there was no way i could bring it home without renting a truck or something close to a truck.  Last week they deliver the items and on the way.  One of the mirror broke.  Then i made another appointment for another delivery.  Which came and it was time for installing all the pieces together.  To my disappointment.  Another piece in one of the boxes was broken.  So i had to call for another replacement which i am waiting today.  I am sorry to say.  This is getting me annoy.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love the stuff in Ikea.  But to wait for deliveries over and over again is no fun.  Not to mention you waste almost close to a whole day waiting for them.

Like i said.  I love the the stuff Ikea have.  But you can’t blame me for getting annoy about waiting for deliveries after deliveries.  Lucky i am not working yet.  Or else how am i going to wait all day for delivery.